Articles, Blog

You Suck at Photoshop – Paths and Masks

September 17, 2019

DONNIE: My name’s Donnie, and
you suck at Photoshop, and when are your going
to get better? Let’s just, I guess, just strap
on your stupid, and let’s get at it. This time, we’re going to do,
we’re going to advance this lesson a little bit and stop
doing some of the baby things we’ve been doing and do some
big boy Photoshop work, and that means we’re going to use
some heavy duty tools. And this time we’re getting
an, a photo ready to go up on– on eBay and so we want to add
a nice background into, uh, the object. And this is the object I’ve, or
the background I’ve chosen, to, you know, create a spirit
or mood for the piece that we’re using, and in this case
it’s a wedding band that I won’t be using anymore that
we’re going to sell up on– on eBay. So let’s open that up and, you
know, copy paste it in here. Now, there’s a lot of
things we could do. We could clean this ring up,
clean off some of the dirty shame and unfulfilled dreams,
but I think all we really need to do is concentrate on getting
the background out. Now– uh, I saw what you– you did. You went, you went for the, the
eraser tool and were going to erase the background off. Don’t ever use that again. We’re going to do this the right
way, which means we’re going to use this, we’ll
use the path tool. That’s this tab over here that
you’ve never clicked on. And we’re going to draw some
paths, because you’ve only been using about $75 worth of
Photoshop and this is going to open you up to at least,
like, $250 worth. So let’s click the Create a
New Path button over here, create a new path, get your Pen
tool, and all we’re going to do, it’s very simple,
we’re gonna– we’re gonna select– we’re gonna click a point
and make a path. You click a point, drag, bezier
curve, and you keep the path going. You see how easy this is? It’s just like what everybody
does from the day they’re born, just making a path. You, you’re plotting
some points. If you get a point off, you can
Command click and drag it into place and then keep, keep
drawing your points. You have points on a path. You know, everybody makes
decisions in their life, and just points on a path. For you, maybe this path is that
you’re going to turn over a new leaf, and you’re going
to learn some new tools, whereas maybe my new path is
that we’re going to make another path for the
inside of the ring. You know, maybe my path is that
I’m going to deal with the fact that some of
my tools don’t work. And maybe one of my problems
is that my, one of my most important tools doesn’t work,
and that maybe that tool is supposed to make baby-making
man batter, and mine just doesn’t, whereas maybe she
decided she needed to go find somebody who has baby-making
man gravy and lots of it. Alright, we’ve got both
of our paths now. [RINGING NOISE] Hold on a second. Hey. MALE SPEAKER: Log on, man. Log on. DONNIE: I’ve got to start it– MALE SPEAKER: Hold on. We’re all going to
roll need on the Legplates of the Tiger– DONNIE: I’ve got to
start an auction. MALE SPEAKER: In Orgrimmar? DONNIE: No, in the fuck– in the real world. MALE SPEAKER: OK, man,
but, you know, we’re not going to wait– DONNIE: I’ll call you back. OK, so now we’ve got our paths,
so what we want to do now is make a selection
out of our paths. So we’re going to go back to the
first path, right click, make selection, and then we’re
going to go right click on the second path, make selection,
except this time we’re going to subtract from selection,
because it’s in the middle. And now we’ve got our selection,
we can go over to our layers, and this
is the cool trick– go down here to the bottom and
click Add Layer Mask, and guess what? You just got rid of the
background, but it’s, you didn’t have to use
your eraser tool. And now, heh, we’ve
got this awesome background, and I just– let’s just export this
to a .jpeg and get it up to, um, eBay. Just get this up to eBay where
hopefully we can get rid of it once and for all. Um, so we’re going to just
upload the photo– oh, god, this feels really
liberating like a big sack of hurt has been drained. OK, so now we can just go down
here, save in preview, and list the item, and that’s it. It’s, oh, my god,
it’s up there. I, I gotta, I don’t
know that, um– MALE SPEAKER: Come on,
man, we’re waiting. DONNIE: Hey, hey, yeah, listen,
how do you cancel, how do you cancel an auction– MALE SPEAKER: The ring? DONNIE: No, listen to me. How do you cancel an
auction in eBay? MALE SPEAKER: Uh, this
a real auction? No, man, no, you gotta,
you gotta get rid of that ring, man. DONNIE: No, I made a
terrible mistake. How do I cancel it, I
want to cancel it. MALE SPEAKER: Sell the ring! DONNIE: I want to cancel it! MALE SPEAKER: Sell the ring! DONNIE: Aaaagh!


  • Reply daftter November 15, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    "Kristen stewart" Photoshop teacher version 😀
    nice Video

  • Reply Amplifier Studios November 19, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    so, you don't have sperm count?

  • Reply YouSickDuck December 10, 2012 at 7:32 am

    When he days command click what button is it that you press to do that?

  • Reply thunderbolt885 December 12, 2012 at 4:22 am

    Perhaps press the COMMAND key and then I dont know….. CLICK?

  • Reply YouSickDuck December 13, 2012 at 4:36 am

    What is the command key?

  • Reply Christian Andrade December 13, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    awesome you rock!

  • Reply grosslyclever December 20, 2012 at 4:07 am

    I adore your humor!!! Keep it coming!! Baby making man batter FTW!!!

  • Reply shield1530 December 21, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    Great techniques dude maybe if you get rid of the humour you will rock much more!!!

  • Reply Chris HP Le December 27, 2012 at 8:40 am

    This made me laugh. Hard. Thank you.

  • Reply JOHANNES LUHTA December 29, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Nice….your humor is good fun. and tuts are good

  • Reply SHIFTnopistons December 30, 2012 at 11:29 pm

    Best vids NA

  • Reply thunderbolt885 January 4, 2013 at 7:47 am


  • Reply Koorosh Ghotb January 8, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    dude…thanks for tutorial, but you really need to calm down 🙂

  • Reply Riko Arianto January 8, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    If you want to lose weight quickly, you should search google for Atomic Fat Loss. They will help you get the body you deserve.

  • Reply pubudu.panboo panboo January 9, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    Have you experienced Zippy Fat Loss? (Google it) It is a quick and easy way to burn off fat fast.

  • Reply Michael hiyama January 9, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    Lmao this guy is hilarious. XD

  • Reply Quinn Hammond January 10, 2013 at 8:28 am

    At least his friend is there for him.

  • Reply Didela Nachar January 12, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    If you have been trying to burn calories fast, you should do a google search Slim Body Maximizer. You are bound to get the body you deserve.

  • Reply Azura Aura January 13, 2013 at 10:50 pm

    4:36 "One used man's wedding band. Maybe it won't ruin your life, also."

  • Reply pifon January 19, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    He is Dane Cook I bet.

  • Reply newworldorderlover January 30, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    Good Stuff bro.. Thanks!!!

  • Reply the dabbler February 1, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    Sounds like David Cross lol.

  • Reply RunawaySparten February 13, 2013 at 5:40 am


  • Reply Silent Spectre February 17, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    Anyone pause on the eBay listing? It said "One man's used wedding band. Maybe it won't ruin your life also." Freaking hilarious.

  • Reply mastermindmathers February 20, 2013 at 9:04 pm

    You were on Toilet ?

  • Reply Binny D April 28, 2013 at 6:11 am

    "…man batter"?


  • Reply Yes ImALEO April 28, 2013 at 6:52 am

    baby making man batter? LOL

  • Reply TheArcher023 May 5, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    Huh, I've got family in Covington.

  • Reply goodgreatlife May 14, 2013 at 10:20 pm

    my god. I wish my teachers were like you

  • Reply Anaphylaxis June 4, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    Because youtube was bugged -.-

  • Reply tagadajohn June 8, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    omg dude you make people learn the good way, nice vids

  • Reply Billy Corn June 11, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    You're awesome

  • Reply MrPicaso72 June 12, 2013 at 7:39 am

    Oh Sweet Jesus! That was so funny I nearly shit myself from laughing so hard!! Great tut too!

  • Reply olesto June 13, 2013 at 12:07 am

    "In Orgrimmar?"

  • Reply Reid Back June 16, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    at the beggining it says "You suck it photoshop"

  • Reply Dexxter June 24, 2013 at 4:43 am

    The "Ring of Infinite Sorrows" stats….

    +220 Pain
    +130 Aggro
    – 460 Spirit

  • Reply mumeiko July 24, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    when I make a second selection it doesn't add it as a new path, even if I create the new path myself. Help?

  • Reply SuperHornetA51 July 30, 2013 at 5:10 am

    "Ring of Infinite Sorrows"

  • Reply J Schnitz August 18, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    "One used man's wedding band.
    Maybe it won't ruin your life, also."

    at 4:36

    best description for an ebay auction.

  • Reply Houssem HoUsSeM August 30, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    are you DRUNK ??

  • Reply Silver Spoon August 30, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    Dude, were you crying when you did the video?

  • Reply akstromech September 7, 2013 at 8:38 pm


  • Reply akstromech September 7, 2013 at 8:39 pm


  • Reply Clayton September 9, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    David Cross does Photoshop tutorials? I honestly never knew.

  • Reply xbloodnpride691 September 29, 2013 at 2:02 am

    Nooo. You suuck

  • Reply xbloodnpride691 September 29, 2013 at 2:03 am

    … at making me stop from laughing bc this is hilarious!!!! NICE making noobs feel like noobs epecially the eraser part!

  • Reply Justin Barylski October 29, 2013 at 9:48 pm

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL baby making man gravy!!! XD

  • Reply GrandmasterBBC October 30, 2013 at 5:54 am

    Pure gold.

  • Reply MrGoatman07 November 3, 2013 at 6:20 pm


  • Reply drinkyourtea November 19, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    did anyone notice the "band of deception" caption at the bottom of the ring photo?

  • Reply Randy Brower December 24, 2013 at 2:55 am

    This is Dane Cook ALL THE WAY! Absolutely one of the best there is today! Love this guy!!

  • Reply Don chan January 7, 2014 at 2:50 am

    baby…making….man-batter! LOL

  • Reply Primodummy92 January 7, 2014 at 8:22 pm


  • Reply Catalina Del Grosso February 12, 2014 at 8:33 am

    I loved this! Just don't try to watch it late at night after everyone is asleep! It's way too funny!

  • Reply nodoxy February 15, 2014 at 11:35 pm

    It's hard to watch this video because my eyes are so watery from laughter tears.

  • Reply Peter LeGrant April 10, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ video. 

  • Reply Kris In Love May 6, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Haha brilliant. Learning and laughing. This is how school should be. ;D

  • Reply Nude Jawn May 22, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    I learned something today.

  • Reply Alex Bobinski June 14, 2014 at 7:14 am

    marriage is for sissies

  • Reply Chaser Xaviour June 15, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    lol, that took you forever. Dumb ass. Ever heard of magic wand?

  • Reply nekoco August 10, 2014 at 5:26 am

    such a crazy guys 

  • Reply AppleEaterInSocks September 24, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    LokTar Ogar!

  • Reply crazingamazing October 24, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    A dry, shriveled up desert to be the background of the dirty shame ring, brilliant. I will watch your videos until I get smarter, which might be never, i dunno.

  • Reply william Dunne November 14, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    You nutter! Cheered me up so much! going through the same shite, (Im from Liverpool i.e. the spelling of  Shite}  Your better off without her. I would put my husbands wedding ring on there too, thats the dick ed there in the shorts. But, he refused to wear a wedding ring from the start. So I may carve out his heart and sell it to the Devil.
    Thanks mannnnn. been struggling with paths and shapes driving me mental. As you can tell. xxx

  • Reply CruellaDeMille December 10, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    Awesome! Funny as hell, instructive and best of all short!!

  • Reply Tara Laughlin January 15, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    Oh you just put a big laugh into my otherwise depressed day!! And I learned something too! Best tutorial EVER!

  • Reply CannPhotography January 25, 2015 at 1:23 am

    Best. Tutorial. EVER!

  • Reply Clipping Photoshop February 22, 2015 at 11:54 am

    Praiseworthy tutorial. Thanks 

  • Reply Joe H April 9, 2015 at 11:31 am

    priceless tutorial

  • Reply Vaibhav Jain April 24, 2015 at 5:18 pm

    Better than stand up comedy I have EVER seen!

  • Reply Robert December 21, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    You totally got me man. "Is this guy gonna commit suicide?"

  • Reply Young Nino December 24, 2015 at 1:53 am

    Eraser tool still the only way to go if you need it done right.

  • Reply KALEIDO jess January 14, 2016 at 5:39 am

    Are you okay XD

  • Reply lord3zz February 1, 2016 at 10:17 am

    hhhhh, is that photoshop 2 ???

  • Reply Dax Vorona July 7, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    "Coz you only been using 75 dollars worth of Photoshop!" LMAO – TOO GOOD!

  • Reply Adam Wahlberg July 27, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    3:23 "… in Orgrimmar?" I startled my entire office when I straight up GUFFAWED.

  • Reply furyberserk August 3, 2016 at 11:15 am

    Sell the ring = suicide
    Keep the ring = cuck
    You = never win
    Wife = domestic abuse
    Cheater of wife = dead in a ditch
    Your ring = sold on ebae
    Me = watching it go down

  • Reply MeredithSedai August 15, 2016 at 5:49 am

    99 cents for the ring, haha.

  • Reply Kwame Weekes October 9, 2016 at 12:04 am

    You sound like a younger Rick from Rick and Morty

  • Reply Johanna Dunns Art November 21, 2016 at 10:22 pm

    this is straight up the best way to learn i dont know anyone who can make me laugh as hard while learning photoshop thank you!

  • Reply Zac Fitzgerald December 3, 2016 at 5:38 am

    Ring of Infinite Sorrows….

  • Reply Greg February 23, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    Simply amazing

  • Reply Praw March 25, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    Is You Suck at Cooking the same guy? 😀

  • Reply Augcliffe April 13, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    F me! You're in Covington??? I'm in Covington!!!

  • Reply elanvitalantiaging June 29, 2017 at 2:08 am

    Awesome, learning is fun. lol

  • Reply Danny Daniel July 10, 2017 at 5:58 am

    Its hard to get a genuine lesson from these videos because there so funny lol

  • Reply bluesman273 October 7, 2017 at 8:01 am

    I had absolutely no idea Dane Cook is so talented at Photoshop

  • Reply motorazerdinimuetter October 15, 2017 at 8:39 am

    Use the quick selection tool!

  • Reply Luis Mendez December 22, 2017 at 1:32 am

    i miss you dude i started learning photoshop because of you…

  • Reply єdgє January 5, 2018 at 6:21 am

    A forgotten legend…

  • Reply Miles Gwood February 23, 2018 at 6:43 pm

    Some of the best photoshop tutorials out there. This actually helped me get my work done.

  • Reply Andrey Dochkin April 17, 2018 at 11:45 pm

    10 years was past after my first view. I understend him now.

  • Reply John Murnen June 22, 2018 at 3:56 am

    One man’s used wedding band.

    Maybe it won’t ruin your life, also.

  • Reply Galactic Punt August 29, 2018 at 11:46 am

    The typos at the beginning of every video are probably my favorite thing about the series

  • Reply ForRealerrs December 23, 2018 at 6:53 am

    Is that you Tom Green?

  • Reply Hassan Naveed January 15, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    I used this series to learn Photoshop way back when I was 11 or something… Never caught the jokes hahaha

  • Reply GoShiggyGo February 13, 2019 at 5:55 am


  • Reply Andrew B. March 7, 2019 at 8:55 am

    Dirty shame!

  • Reply Bicycle Ninja May 25, 2019 at 4:35 am

    I stopped at 1:12. Eager to get back to using my $5 worth of Photoshop. Crop, clone, brightness/contrast, done!

  • Reply Evil Cuteness July 7, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    wonderfully terrible.

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