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Hostel MasterChef | TVF Qtiyapa

September 1, 2019

Mess food enthusiasts all over the world I, warden Ramsay I Teddy Bear Grylls And I Mess malini Welcome you all In Foodpanda presents, Hostel Masterchef’s Super Great grandfather Final Finale If along with a reality show’s drama, you want to see good food being made Then go for an arranged marriage Because in this show, To present their talent, We have From all over the country thousands of Mess workers And in these diamonds We are looking for that piece of coal Who will be making The most pathetic Disgusting Food And yes remember Only he will win Hostel Masterchef Who’s curd is sour In search of the most terrible mess food Hostel Masterchef’s team In north from IIT Hisar To IIM Trichi in south Went to thousands of hostels Freedom from Good food Hostel Masterchef! Hostel Masterchef! In all of India From Kashmir to Jammu Everyone was ecstatic about Hostel Masterchef And from them Only a selected few tastemakers Were able to make it To Hostel Masterchef’s mess My dish is called “Baal Makhani” This roti is so burnt It still needs to pay its dowry This tastes exactly like my piss I love it! Only he shall win Whose Naans will be unbreakable Sir, I have made kadhai paneer Where some contestants had Impressed the judges with their talent My dish is chicken chilly Finger lickin’ good! Some contestants gave the judges stress Every dish should have potatoes Why doesn’t banana milkshake have potatoes? This is tasting surprisingly good Did you order it from Foodpanda? Are you cheating now? No, no madam, not cheating Brand integration ma’am Fucker, if you want to make good food then go to the canteen and make it In hostel masterchef Even your food’s photo should be repulsive Sir I can’t make sandwiches for you Because I am a feminist Get out! Get out of here! I am sorry to say Your Hostel Masterchef Mess contract end here And today we will get to know That who will be India’s first Hostel Masterchef Our first finalist From engineering college’s mess Isabgoool Matol Isabgol, Isabgol , Isabgol Isabgol, Isabgol , Isabgol I was the CEO of Microminimax Which was an unsuccessful startup But like every engineer My passion was something else Making disgusting food with my own hands So I fired myself Uploaded my menu on LinkedIn And got placed in IIT mess It is the love of my students That has gotten me so far I am here to create my own mess This year’s Hostel Masterchef title I will win Our second Finalist From MBA college’s mess Chotaaaa Chetan Bhagat We love you
We love you Marry me, marry me Chotu! I love you As a cook I have always believed in innovation Pesticides in softdrinks Worms in chocolates And Guinea in chicken These all were my recipes People write cookbooks I have written cook novels Only I will be Hostel Masterchef And from Arts college’s mess Our third finalist Leonardo Da Messiiiiiiiiii I am a compassionate food artiste In every reality show There is an underdog And I, am that underdog lover Students can still order on discount from foodpanda But what about those innocent stray dogs? Come Come That’s why I think Le Hostel Masterchef So It all comes down to this Hostel Masterchef’s This is the end semester And the last chance for you three Because the mess gets closed during the holidays Do remember Only he shall win Hostel Masterchef’s title Whose food will cause Diarrhea in the whole batch And your time starts Now Our first task was Selecting the right Ingredients from the pantry For a nutritious meal for the students Protein is really important So what could be better than homegrown protein? Oh fuck! Cocaine Flour man My first dish was maggi My ancestors had told me that It was impossible to fuck up maggi But for the finale, I had to take the risk But the instructions to make it were really complicated I just couldn’t understand What I had to do with that tobacco I decided to make puri bhaaji for the judges My biggest fear was That my food shouldn’t lack oil There was only one way to know this Go, go, go Now, I knew it was ready Because where there is oil There is democracy To be the best mess chef Consistency is really important That is why the gravy for all my dishes is same But when, I was writing my novel Constipation twenty twenty I invented a new dish The combination of Veg Kolhapuri And veg Hyderabadi Veg Telangana It only takes two minutes to make maggi But to spoil it A lot more time The clock was ticking And like mess’ milk My ass was all over the place Then I decided to stick With traditional mess cuisine Now it is not like the college kids have a bath In fact, the last time They had a bath when During the protest water canons
were shot at them So what were we to do with so much water left Obviously we will put it in the Dal! Hmmm…you see These dishes belong in the list of the ten dishes that will blow your intestines Huh This food reminds me of my grandmother Not only was her heart big But also her liver was damn tasty Isabgol, Isabgol, Isabgol Leonardo, Leonardo, Leonardo Chotu, Chotu, Chotu A B C D E…F Let’s see who will be Hostel Masterchef And to cook you food You still have Just one minute Oh my G! Isabgol has got tremendous speed in the last minute He is a true engineer Not just Isabgol But all the three contestants have got
tremendous speed in the last minute Is this some sort of magic Or a simple editing technique Tick tick five Tick tick four Tick tick three Two one hands up Come on hands up! Motherfucker
get your hands out of the pocket Your mess time Has ended Isabgol Please present your dish I was really nervous I was just worried if the judges ended up Finding lentils in my lentil soup This lacks water Sir look, a girl! Girl in boy’s hostel? How many times have I told you,
bathe at night No sir we are ragging the kids Oh, sorry my bad Please carry on Oh wow! With time, water and salt in this dal Both have shot up Mmm…this is not just a revolutionary dish It is an evolutionary dish Now for main course I made chicken Biriyani But in this chicken… Is silent Oh Nice Just like in reality shows Reality is silent Hmmm surprise element? I love it! Thank you and the specialty of this
chicken biriyani is That you can have it on Tuesdays as well Great job, great job Isabgol So Chota Chetan Bhagat Your dish please Judges, In this whole season My food’s presentation was awful So today, being an MBA, I have made for you This PPT And Using the coloured print out of this PPT I have made this paper dosa SWOT analysis? Or taste analysis And for desserts I have made Gulab Jamun This is kind of tasty Get an extra one Sorry sir I can’t give you an extra one What do you mean you
can’t give an extra one? I am the judge, go run and get an extra one Sir either you write it down in the register Or get your mess card I should get me mess card? Do you know who I am I am the warden Go run and get it or I’ll eliminate you right now I am not afraid of elimination Sire But I am scared of the mess secretary It was a pressure test! Inspite of being under pressure You didn’t give an extra Gulab Jamun You are the perfect mess cook Gotcha gotcha Senor Messi Presenta Chef Today, I have made such a dish Which every student must have made atleast once in their lives Nonexistent Pulao Oops I am so sorry A little fell off Five seconds rule You can have it Bon appetit senor, bon appetit Today, the second dish that I have made is Puri Bhaji This Puri is so ugly That I wouldlike to call it Om Puri Hashtag throwup thursdays, hashtag golfball This bhaji is so old That it reminded me of the
crocodiles in Mohenjodaro So Today one of you will become India’s first Hostel Masterchef And two of you will be facing defeat The losing first pathetic loser is Senor Da Messi But sir I have a tumor in my heart And a hole in my brain Get some medical help then Sir my mother is an alcoholic My wife a shopaholic And priest, catholic In this show only Talent can take you ahead Sir even my daughter is talented She is the district champion
of hide and seek Papa, found you! Hey kid, careful Wild card entry Woohoo First time in the history
of Hostel Masterchef Wild card entry Excuse me, excuse me Hello? Yes boss Ok boss Sir I got an offer from Big Boss My sympathy votes are more valuable there So, I’ll leave Okay? No hard feelings Senor? Hey Senor? Wait son of a bitch! Dude even we spoil careers La Messi la puta Screw you guys I am going to Big Boss Anyway Today One of you will be winning The title of Hostel Masterchef And that contestant is Isabgol Or is it Chota Chetan Bhagat? Okay, okay, okay I will give you guys a hint That contestant has two… Ears! Okay That contestant has.. Two fathers The name of that contestant is Both of you! Both of us? This means First time in the geography
of Hostel Masterchef We will be having sudden death round Woohoo. Lights Hey, Mr India? Oh, fuck! Sonam’s dad? See? Didn’t I tell you I don’t steal
food from the mess? I am on a diet, goddamnit Uh, anyways Coming back to the sudden death round In this round we will be seeing That can having your food Cause sudden death or not Yes it can Isabgol Matol You are from an engineering college And Chota Chetan Bhagat You are from an MBA college That’s why we need somebody who is neutral That is why we have called Medical college’s oldest resident Anand Bhai! Anand Bhai, please The guy doesn’t just like vegetables He is himself a vegetable World’s best Statue statue player Please welcome, Anand Bhai Whooo! Statue! Ho ho ho What a player Anand Bhai, wow Anand bhai, the thing is Having hostel food throughout the day Our tastebuds have died So to revive them We are ordering from FoodPanda And their fate lies in your hands now So I will feed you both their dishes And the one that disgusts you more, Signal me for that one Cool? One second, my leg got stuck Our first dish is Chota Chetan Bhagat’s Paper Dosa Chew, chew, chew it Come on, chew it His heart rate has dropped a bit It seems the food is quite surprising Isabgol, the bar has certainly been raised Rightly said Now, our next dish is Isabgol’s dal Yuck! Assholes! What fucking shit is this? Fuck off! Sudden death, sudden death, sudden death Whoo sudden death And today’s winner is Isabgol Matol from engineering college Isabgol, Isabgol, Isabgol Isabgol Your whole batch get’s from LIP Liver Insurance Policy With the food and after food too I was really happy Not just because I won But also because After having my food One of our judges got kidney stones Dreams do come true So students hold your tummies and wait For the next semester Because only here will you get raw pizza Come on baby, let’s go to Ibiza Papa, found you!


  • Reply DAVESH CHAWLA July 20, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    Abey itna bhi majak na karo ki tumhari zindagi hi mazak ban jaye

  • Reply DAVESH CHAWLA July 20, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    Aur khas tor se tu dariyal

  • Reply deepak kumar July 21, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    guys ur best video

  • Reply Amreswar Mishra July 22, 2019 at 10:14 am

    2:58 director of kota factory

  • Reply sadik sayyed July 22, 2019 at 3:30 pm

    Ekdum bhasad macha Diya bhai ek number

  • Reply saif Syed July 24, 2019 at 4:34 am

    anand bhai : kitna ganda khana hai bc, that expression, i died laughing

  • Reply Gopal dey July 24, 2019 at 6:47 am


  • Reply clash gamer July 24, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    2019 july ?
    World's best statue statue player πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Shoaib zubair July 24, 2019 at 4:00 pm

    when there is oil there is democracy.

  • Reply Shoaib zubair July 24, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    mr. india!
    sonam kay papa.

  • Reply Hussain Chakki July 24, 2019 at 6:18 pm

    Didn't understand the femenist joke

  • Reply abu jafo July 25, 2019 at 11:49 am

    wow awssammmmmmm

  • Reply Muhammad Shehzad July 26, 2019 at 8:32 am

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Where there is oil there is democracy

  • Reply Banday Ilyas July 26, 2019 at 9:35 am

    Who is watching in July 2019

  • Reply piyush kumar rajavat July 26, 2019 at 12:49 pm

    Bc Mr. India🀣🀣🀣

  • Reply Mohammad Azad July 26, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    6:18 Ohh..fuck. Cocaine…Atta ha yaarπŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

  • Reply Chaudhary Suhail Khan July 27, 2019 at 3:00 am

    still bttr thn myh mdcl clg 😒

  • Reply the zen master July 27, 2019 at 7:06 am


  • Reply Romi Jain July 27, 2019 at 7:25 am

    What the f… K. πŸ˜€πŸ˜

  • Reply Piyush Kumar July 27, 2019 at 8:54 am

    Reality show Ka Sara sach khol Diya Bhai….mtlb maa child doo🀣🀣

  • Reply Aawaara Baadal July 27, 2019 at 9:50 am

    Food panda sabse jhandu app hai..

  • Reply Mr dkrvj July 27, 2019 at 4:57 pm

    Need help from you guys. As you r king in digital web.
    I am an individual with no direct plug n play contributions which I can make in ongoing growth of your vision. However, have knowledge, courage & experience to have a start in your world. Please help me to get onto your journey if you guys can. Thank you.

  • Reply Suvansh Seth July 27, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    It was a pressure test πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Sovit Prakash July 28, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    Kashmir se jammu tak πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™πŸ™πŸ˜πŸ˜

  • Reply Poonam Verma July 28, 2019 at 6:25 pm

    Aanand bhai k liye like kiya h mene

  • Reply nitin thakur July 29, 2019 at 3:37 am

    Kutto k bhi dikhaya achha lga

  • Reply Ria Nhalve July 29, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    I prefer uber eats

  • Reply Aryan Mishra July 30, 2019 at 4:57 pm

    IIT Allahabad


  • Reply just chill July 30, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    Chicken chilly

  • Reply Harsh Last July 30, 2019 at 10:40 pm

    14:00 why is a "spanish" person speaking French lol

  • Reply hudaman ' July 31, 2019 at 10:04 am

    This is hilarious

  • Reply abhish parab July 31, 2019 at 12:17 pm

    Khayali pulao was amazingπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Abhijeet Bhagwat July 31, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    How can you think like this..

  • Reply Vedavyash Pati July 31, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    6:45 Wo tobacco 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

  • Reply Saisri Vardhan August 1, 2019 at 7:59 am

    Worst thing I have seen so far

  • Reply Divyanshu Saxena August 1, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    Gajab bencho🀣🀣🀣🀣

  • Reply arushi gupta August 1, 2019 at 4:39 pm

    One disclaimer they forgot to mention ……..


  • Reply Parikshit Rao August 1, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Oh fuck cocaine!!!!
    ……… Aata hay Yaar.

    Arts college in a nutshell

  • Reply ꧁༒RAJU ༒꧂ August 1, 2019 at 5:36 pm

    I solute your creativity guys.✌️

  • Reply DUBBING mab August 2, 2019 at 1:55 am

    Sala aata ko cocon bol rha h🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

  • Reply DUBBING mab August 2, 2019 at 1:57 am

    Ye mota bag leke kyu khda h🀣

  • Reply DUBBING mab August 2, 2019 at 2:02 am

    Khyali pulaw🀣🀣

  • Reply sandeep mishra BALAJII August 2, 2019 at 5:32 pm

    Sonam ke papa……

  • Reply mrinalini pandey August 2, 2019 at 6:39 pm

    Waoo yrr such a great sense of humour πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply dreamstyyiivv ra August 2, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚that feminist guyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Ronij Khan August 2, 2019 at 10:46 pm

    Kheyali palaw is my favourite πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€€πŸ€€πŸ™†β€β™‚οΈ

  • Reply Favorite August 3, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    bhai kuch acha karliya karo .. itna pakao matt plzz

  • Reply Atanu Giri August 3, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    Maa alcoholic,
    Biwi Shopaholic aur
    Priest Catholic! 😒😒😒

  • Reply Anjali August 3, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    I wasn't expecting Mr India at all…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€™…you guys are damn amazing…❀️

  • Reply Lenivan X August 4, 2019 at 7:42 am

    The video is Gold. πŸ‘Œ

  • Reply Rakesh Gupta August 4, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Bro but the om puri dialogue was not great as you are not allowed to comment on there looks

  • Reply Ranjeeta Thapa August 5, 2019 at 7:03 am

    Aakh me chori ki district champion πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Edp Bunker August 5, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Oh! Fuck cocaine ..!!

  • Reply Aishwary Awasthi August 6, 2019 at 6:07 am

    Watch for 20 seconds. Sudden death by a dance performance.

  • Reply RISHABH SRIVASTAVA August 6, 2019 at 12:59 pm

    Superb 🀣🀣

  • Reply Saurabh Yadav August 6, 2019 at 4:32 pm

    Thank You For Including IIT Allahabad

  • Reply vishal kumar August 6, 2019 at 7:49 pm

    Good jop

  • Reply Player Unknown for a reason August 8, 2019 at 8:04 am

    Such a waste of food!!

  • Reply Tamal Sarkar August 8, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    Who is Mess Malini πŸ‘€

  • Reply Create with Pj August 8, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    Laughed my lungs out..that was epic hahaha πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply yogesh Sharma August 9, 2019 at 3:25 pm

    Baal makhni hahahaha Wah yar

  • Reply Tarun Rana August 13, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    I can't explain how legendary these actors are …what a script…what writing… What timing….so called today silver spoon actors should be ashamed of themselves

  • Reply Tarun Kumar August 13, 2019 at 4:19 pm


  • Reply ANAND YADAV August 13, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    There is no humour in portraying feminist as such.

  • Reply Chiku Goel August 14, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    Tvf please make hostel MasterChef season 2

  • Reply Bhaskar Tiwary August 14, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    You guys are love

  • Reply Clippers August 15, 2019 at 3:58 am

    Oh My G

  • Reply jatin kakran August 17, 2019 at 11:27 am

    IIT Hisar…… Ye kb bna di…. Last 10 years se to mujhe ni mili….πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Sumit Jacob August 17, 2019 at 1:06 pm

    Sahi maa chodi reality shows ke madarchod notanki saale.

  • Reply Parbej Imam August 17, 2019 at 6:46 pm

    You guys are really very talented
    ..I really love your work.. Carry on.. Love you

  • Reply AMRITPAL SINGH August 18, 2019 at 8:30 am

    Yeh to tasty hai

  • Reply Naat With Lyrics August 18, 2019 at 8:12 pm

    The army man put american flag in kadhai it is logical

  • Reply Malin Roy August 19, 2019 at 4:06 pm


  • Reply indra jeet joshi August 19, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    Poori bachdi go to hell

  • Reply Ambesh deva August 19, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    femenist aur sandwich ka samajh me nahi aaya bhai

  • Reply varun sarwesh August 19, 2019 at 8:07 pm

    Bhaiya khana to thik hai par is bell k sath hirni bilkul sahi nahi lagti…. Or ye bhura kaha se mila

  • Reply Avikal Singhal August 20, 2019 at 4:59 am

    Who else is watching video lying on bed like me…πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Avikal Singhal August 20, 2019 at 5:00 am

    Constipation 2020πŸ˜…πŸ€£

  • Reply Avikal Singhal August 20, 2019 at 5:06 am

    Khayali palow πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Shivani Singh Sengar August 20, 2019 at 8:53 am

    Ya ek simple editing technique !! Hahahahhahaha @9:04 , nailed it XD

  • Reply Dr.R khatik August 20, 2019 at 11:55 am

    This was fabulous

  • Reply Aanand Yadav August 21, 2019 at 3:14 pm

    Hostal ka khana yad aa gya yr

  • Reply AMAN SINGH August 22, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    19:02 Ahsaas Channa or anyone else?

  • Reply Dipanita Biswas August 23, 2019 at 5:18 am

    Level hai yr πŸΈπŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ lol…. Love this chnl 🀩

  • Reply Rubiya KhAn August 23, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    hmare hostel main khana achaa milta hai.. πŸ‘ŒπŸ»πŸ‘ŒπŸ»πŸ‘ŒπŸ»

  • Reply Rubiya KhAn August 23, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    hostel ki chay main ΰ€‡ΰ€²ΰ€Ύΰ€―ΰ€šΰ₯€ silent hoti h πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

  • Reply murtaza zaveri August 23, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    7:05 ΰ€¬ΰ₯‡ΰ€Έΰ₯ΰ€Ÿ ΰ€ͺΰ€Ύΰ€°ΰ₯ΰ€Ÿ ΰ€Ήΰ₯ˆ ΰ€΅ΰ₯€ΰ€‘ΰ€Ώΰ€―ΰ₯‹ ΰ€•ΰ€Ύ ΰ€œΰ₯‹ ΰ€—ΰ€²ΰ₯ΰ€« ΰ€¦ΰ₯‡ΰ€Άΰ₯‹ΰ€‚ ΰ€•ΰ₯€ ΰ€Ήΰ€Ύΰ€²ΰ€€ ΰ€¬ΰ€€ΰ€Ύΰ€€ΰ€Ύ ΰ€Ήΰ₯ˆ

  • Reply KIΕƒGγ€… KiSHU August 24, 2019 at 8:42 am

    teddy bear GRILLS πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply ankit August 24, 2019 at 10:19 am

    Arre jo maine hero h usko tumne wheel chair pe daal diya

  • Reply StreaK Villy August 25, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    That Southpark reference πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Dgp Ashok verma August 26, 2019 at 9:23 am

    Meanwhile america:-
    That karahi needs democracy!

  • Reply poonam sharma August 26, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    Career to hum bhi barbad karte h…… hehehehhe

  • Reply poonam sharma August 26, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    Ramsey is salman

  • Reply Ritik sharma August 27, 2019 at 9:06 am

    Female judge ne kapde kuch jyada hi bde pahan rkhe h mood bn rha h πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Shrabani Chaki August 28, 2019 at 9:44 am

    "Har engineer ki tarha merabhi passion kuch aur hi tha"πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Jazib Kalam August 30, 2019 at 3:06 am

    07:00 πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Biswajit Ghosh August 30, 2019 at 9:32 am

    last main mr.india agyaa πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply SMKAT Videos August 31, 2019 at 5:35 am

    Bhai ab kabhi bhi khana ni khaunga

  • Reply Kumar August 31, 2019 at 1:38 pm

    10:29 per is pink drees qali larki ki GAND dekh
    Kya mast gand hai

  • Reply Shivam Rungta September 1, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    loved the food

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