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DragonBall Z Abridged MOVIE: BROLY – TeamFourStar #TFSBroly

January 28, 2020

[Please keep these English subs accurate for the benefit of deaf viewers.
Funny asides can go in the English (Canada) subs. Thank you!] NARRATOR: The South Galaxy… …has been obliterated. SOUTH KAI: HOLY SHIT!! KING KAI: Okay, first of all, calm down. SOUTH KAI: I was in the bathroom for FIVE MINUTES!
And now it’s all gone! HOW?! …WHO?! KING KAI: Could’ve been Beerus. SOUTH KAI: Oh, you know that mother’s still asleep! This is my ex, man! She told me she would hurt me
in a way I’d never see comin’! WHY, EAST KAI?! WHY?! KING KAI: South Kai, listen. SOUTH KAI: I thought she may, like,
steal my Blu-Ray player, man! KING KAI: South Kai! We are going… to figure… this out. SOUTH KAI: We need to get whoever did this, North Kai! KING KAI: Alright then, listen. I got a guy. SOUTH KAI: What’s his name? CHI-CHI: Goku! I’m gonna show you! GOKU: Show me what? CHI-CHI: How to act like an actual adult. GOKU: But Chi-Chi, we’re missing the wedding reception! We sat through that boring talk about love
and junk for 40 minutes just waiting for the banquet! I learned how to count up to 40 because of that! That’s ten fours, by the way. CHI-CHI: And that is exactly why we’re here. CHI-CHI: I don’t want Gohan ending up the
same, barely functional man-child you are! GOKU: Uh…? Eeeee!
CHI-CHI: I don’t want Gohan ending up the
same, barely functional man-child you are! CHI-CHI: I don’t want Gohan ending up the
same, barely functional man-child you are! And I made sure to schedule this college interview on
the same day as the wedding, because as we both know, getting you into a suit is like trying to give a cat a bath. GOKU: But I like baths. KRILLIN [off-key]: ♫Dooon’t stop! Belieeevin!♫ Hold on to that feeeeeliiiii-iiiiin’! Streetlights! Peeeeopleee-aa-aa-aa-olhuuuull! KRILLIN: Aaaaaahaaaaa! ROSHI: Yeaaaaah, sing it girl! Ha haaa!
KRILLIN: Aaaaaahaaaaa! OOLONG: Are you drunk already?
The reception just started. ROSHI: Pig, I am the pre-gaming master. KORIN: Aw, sweetheart, I’m so sorry your
best man had to skip out on the reception. YAJIROBE: That’s okay. I have my real best man right here. KORIN: Daww, save it for the honeymoon. YAJIROBE: Hoho, that’s not all I’m savin’… KORIN: Is it a turkey? YAJIROBE: You know me so well. VEGETA: I came here for a banquet,
and I find out it’s a potluck, you CHEAP F**KS! PANCHY: Well, I’m surprised you came, sweetheart! An interspecies, homosexual marriage? DR. BRIEF: I just wanted to see what
the gay agenda looked like in person! Frankly? Not impressed. Oh, great, and now immigrants!
Truly a liberal wonderland around here. VEGETA: Do you fools have any idea whose planet this is? SOLDIERS: All hail Lord Vegeta! VEGETA: Well, good! Glad we’re clear on that. PARAGUS: It has been too many years, Prince Vegeta. Or should I say… KING… Vegeta. KING KINGKING KINGKINGKING KINGKINGKINGKING KINGKINGKINGKINGKING KINGKINGKINGKINGKINGKING KINGKINGKINGKINGKINGKINGKING VEGETA: Never in my life have I needed
something so much and never known until I received it. INTERVIEWER: This is rather unorthodox. Your son is 11 years old and home-schooled,
but you say he’s at a 12th grade level? CHI-CHI: I’m a teacher first, and a mother second! Also a wife. INTERVIEWER: I see. Uh, speaking of your husband, Mr… INTERVIEWER: Son Goku, was it? CHI-CHI: Uhhgh… INTERVIEWER: Can you tell us
anything interesting about yourself? GOKU: Oh, sure! Well, uh, I’m a Saiyan. CHI-CHI: Goku? INTERVIEWER: Oh, so you’re a minority!
Because that could favor your child for enrollment! CHI-CHI: Oh, uh, yes! Definitely a minority. There are only two and a half more like him that are […] GOKU: Huh?
KING KAI: Goku! Are you there? GOKU: Oh, hey, King Kai! Long time no talk. How’s Bubbles? CHI-CHI: *gasp* Eh, not much. Just a silly school thing. No, not for me; for Gohan. INTERVIEWER: Um, excuse me, uh, Mr. Son?
GOKU: Oh wow, an entire galaxy? GOKU: Hold on, talkin’ to God. GOKU: Wait, there are other Kais? CHI-CHI: Uhh, he’s very religious.
GOKU: Wait, there are other Kais? CHI-CHI: We both are!
GOKU: When were we gonna talk about this? CHI-CHI: Did you know my mother was Jewish? GOKU: One sec. I-I gotta take this. *pop* CHI-CHI: *gasp* INTERVIEWER: Ma’am? Is-is your husband a magician? CHI-CHI: Oh…- yes! *laugh* And for his next trick, he will convince you to enroll our son. INTERVIEWER: Well, if he’s as ‘in touch with God’
as you say he is, perhaps he could work that miracle. CHI-CHI: *worried moan* *crowd noises* VEGETA: So you’re telling me that you’ve acquired
an entirely new Planet Vegeta for me to rule over? PARAGUS: That is… exactly what I said, yes. VEGETA: Ah, well then, it’s official. Attention everyone! Your planet is
a mudhole for entitled weaklings. BABY TRUNKS: *cooing*
VEGETA: And you’re all worthless. VEGETA: I’m going to claim my birthright. TRUNKS: But Dad, what about Cell? VEGETA: F**k ‘im! PARAGUS: Ah, so, you must be… TRUNKS: My name is Trunks. PARAGUS: Hello, Princess Trunks. TRUNKS: I’m not a–! VEGETA: As my first decree, you shall
ONLY call her Princess Trunks! SOLDIERS: All hail Princess Trunks! TRUNKS: Nooooo!
VEGETA: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! ROSHI: Yeaaaah! Let’s go find some space-strippers! OOLONG: This isn’t part of the reception! KRILLIN: How is he this strong?! BULMA: Sure, just go back into space again.
At least I’m not pregnant this time. Shit, I hope. TRUNKS: I’ll drag him back by his
non-existent tail if I have to! BULMA: *sigh* Don’t try too hard… KING KAI: Wait, “take this” where? Goku? Goku? *pop*
Goku? Goku? SUPREME KAI ALMIGHTY! What is up with that monkey suit you’re wearing? TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES: That’s highly offensive, sir. KING KAI: I’m a god, Bubbles; I don’t see race, [sotto] you filthy macaque. TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES: Aw… GOKU: *grunt* Ah… Alright! Who do I gotta beat up? KING KAI: That’s what you’re going to find out. Now normally I don’t involve myself
in the matters of other galaxies, but South Kai bought me my car, so, I owe him a favor. Have you seen it? It’s only got 63 miles on it! GOKU: She’s a Buick. KING KAI: Chevrolet Bel-Air, actually. Now! It’s up to you to find out who destroyed South Galaxy. GOKU: Okey-doke! I’ll go look for clues! KING KAI: Uh– wait, look where? *pop* *pop* GOKU: *gasp* S-s-so-ho-ho!
I can’t breathe in space, apparently! KING KAI: You’re the salt of the Earth, Goku. PARAGUS: And now, my Lord. Behold! Your magnificent new kingdom. VEGETA: Pretty sure when you rule over a planet,
the *planet* is your kingdom. PARAGUS: How wise you are, my Lord. How about we take a tour of your beautiful new palace? ROSHI: Somebody get me a raw egg,
two shots of Tabasco, salt, pepper, and a *gun* to shoot myself! OOLONG: You know what they say:
“Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.” “Liquor before intergalactic travel… feel your insides unravel.” ROSHI: BLEHHHH–!! [Elevator muzak] *pop* GOKU: Cell…! CELL: Hm? GOKU: Did you destroy South Galaxy? CELL: There’s a South Galaxy? GOKU: Forget you heard that. CELL: No. *pop* Our talks are nice. VEGETA: You call THIS a palace worthy of KING Vegeta? * First of all, I demand more towers. * First of all, I demand more towers.
* Second, I demand more towels! * First of all, I demand more towers.
* Second, I demand more towels!
* And third, I demand more trowels. The brick-work on this place is a shit-show. And who’s this scrawny puke? BROLY: I’m a foot and a half taller than you, but, whatever… VEGETA: What was that?! BROLY: I said I can’t hear you from down there… VEGETA: Speak up, boy; I can’t hear you from up there! PARAGUS: Uhm, that is my son, Broly, my liege. Forgive him; he’s a very… passive boy. VEGETA: Beta male; got it.
But, for the sake of the Saiyan race… …he has my blessings to bed Princess Trunks. TRUNKS: Excuse you?! VEGETA: Shut up, boy; think of the bloodline. TRUNKS: Do you even know what you’re doing?! VEGETA: I don’t need to. I’m King. TRUNKS: Huh?!
BROLY: Your hair looks like lavender,
but smells like strawberries… BROLY: Your hair looks like lavender,
but smells like strawberries… TRUNKS: Daaad! GOHAN: Something seems really fishy. KRILLIN: Yeah. Trunks doesn’t even have a womb. GOHAN: I say we investigate. KRILLIN: Ha! Not that curious! GOHAN: The PLANET. KRILLIN: Yeah, yeah, I know… MERCENARY TAO: *screaming* GOKU: I just wanna make sure…
if it was you who destroyed South Galaxy.
MERCENARY TAO: *screaming* GOKU: Stop screaming if it was.
MERCENARY TAO: *still screaming* MERCENARY TAO: *still screaming* GOKU: Okay…
MERCENARY TAO: *continues screaming* GOKU: I’ma let you go then…
MERCENARY TAO: *continues screaming* GOKU: Good luck with your ass-assing!
MERCENARY TAO: *continues screaming* *pop*
MERCENARY TAO: *continues screaming* GOKU: Man, King Kai, I’m stumped! I asked Cell, Mercenary Tao, Piccolo, Tenshinhan, and that *monster*, Pilaf! And none of them destroyed South Galaxy! KING KAI: *Goku*… I’ve been trying
to tell you for the last two hours! GO TO NEW VEGETA! GOKU: *gasp* There’s another Vegeta?! I wonder if he’s stronger than normal Vegeta… Eeeeee! *pop* KING KAI: That man is going to be the death of me. *wind* KRILLIN: This place looked a lot better as a skyline. TRUNKS: What happened here? GOHAN: And why does it look like
“The Day After Tomorrow” was yesterday? KRILLIN: Hey, over there! Maybe we can ask one of these fine,
indentured servants what’s going on. TRUNKS: Aw, crapbaskets… CONDI: *coughing in pain* SHAMO: Grandfather! CONDI: Worry not, podling… I just inhaled a little bit of rust… *coughing* SHAMO: No, please! If you are angry, use your whip on me. I can take it… GOHAN: No, don’t worry, we’re not with them. We won’t hurt you. SHAMO: Oh. Whatever. CONDI: *coughing*
GOHAN: So, uh… You guys slaves, or…? SHAMO: Oh yeah! A couple of Saiyans landed on our planet a few
months ago, and transported us here against our will. And if we step outta line, well… AUGH-UGH…! MASKED SADIST: Surprise, you worthless runt!
It’s time for your hourly beating! SHAMO: Oogh, oh God, *daddy*! KRILLIN: Whoa! MASKED SADIST: Uh, no! No, no, no, no. That’s my name. It’s actually pronounced: “Dah-Di”. SHAMO: Huaa! Harder, daddy! DAH-DI: Now, that one was what you thought it was. SHAMO: Ungh, yeaaah~! Ughh! CONDI: Please, I beg you! He is but a boy! Let me take it! It’s *my turn*! DAH-DI: Only after you lick my boot! CONDI: Oh, you monster~! GOHAN: Stop that! DAH-DI: Huagh! GOHAN: Leave these… odd people alone! MAH-STEHR: Ha ha ha… We’ve been
beating up children all day long. What makes you any different? KRILLIN: Because he’s with me! Hii ya! Ha! Hua! Whacha-cha! MAH-STEHR: Okay – kinky we can handle,
but we’re not being paid for crazy. We’re out. KRILLIN: Wawawawawawa! WATAAH!
GOKU: -eeee-aaaagaaghhh! GOKU: Oh… agh…. And I just bit
the inside of my cheek earlier! Augh… KRILLIN: Goku?! What the heck are you doing here?! Also, sorry. GOKU: Oh, just looking for the New Vegeta. I followed Old Vegeta’s energy here and I found you guys! TRUNKS: Uh, Goku? New Vegeta is actually just a planet. GOKU: Aw, NOW you tell me!
Who names their planet after themselves? VEGETA: A goddamn idiot! GOKU: Huh?
VEGETA: A goddamn idiot! That’s what I am for buying into this garbage heap! PARAGUS: Please, my liege! VEGETA: I’m not your “liege”, you brown-nosing toady. You promised me a kingdom – but I have no subjects,
no infrastructure, and a throne made of wood! What am I, the Space Pope?! PARAGUS: I beg of you, King Vegeta – please stay. For roughly, three… maybe three and a half hours? VEGETA: And continue wasting my time?! Oh, and tell your creepy brat to stop following me! BROLY: What’s your power level? VEGETA: And stop *asking that*! *No-one cares anymore*! BROLY: Mine’s pretty big… GOKU: Hey ‘Geets! PARAGUS: Oh shit, it’s Kaka– BROLY: Hng! PARAGUS: –kuu! Goku! Hello, Goku. Have you come to join the rest of your marvelous race? VEGETA: Or did you just come to see my new palace? It has six towers! *Like a peasant*! BROLY: Hello… What is your power level? GOKU: Uh, dunno. Pretty big, though. BROLY: Mine too… GOKU: Cool! So, ‘Geets – I’m actually looking for
the person who blew up a galaxy? PARAGUS: But who would blow up South Galaxy?? BROLY: Probably someone with a really big power level… GOKU: That’s a good point. You’ve got a good point. What’s your name? BROLY: Broly. GOKU: Good point, Broly! BROLY: Mmm… TRUNKS: Father! It’s all a lie! VEGETA: I know; a queen-sized bed? Paragus, you squalid f**k. TRUNKS: No. Paragus has been fabricating this entire planet.
From its palace to its people! PARAGUS: Princess Trunks, er, perhaps– TRUNKS: Okay, I’m putting a moratorium on that right now. Father, this psychopath has been enslaving races
from *other* planets to build your kingdom! *Even the greenery* is manufactured! VEGETA: Paragus… is this true? PARAGUS: My liege… Yes… it is. VEGETA: *My God*… You’re not the shitstain of a Saiyan I thought you were! PARAGUS: Thank you, my liege! TRUNKS: Oh goddammit, Dad. VEGETA: You are now my Royal Grand Vizier! PARAGUS: Ah! Big shoes to fill… TRUNKS: Father! What this guy has done… It’s inhuman! VEGETA: Yes, but it’s not *insaiyan*. SHAMO: Actually, we much enjoy the slavery! GOHAN: Say wha’? SHAMO: Yes. Being enslaved and exploited by another… stronger, *strapping* race, fulfills us completely. KRILLIN: You know, I… actually kinda get it. SHAMO: Although, it is strange that he would
force us to build a kingdom on a doomed planet. PARAGUS: ‘Oh, goddammit.’ VEGETA: Explain, shitstain. PARAGUS: To hell with this; I’ll leave
the boot-licking to the Shamoshians. Well, then…! You have finally unravelled my plan, King Vegeta! VEGETA: Okay…? PARAGUS: This whole wretched planet will soon be
encompassed by the cataclysmic comet, Camori… …wiping it, and you, out with it. VEGETA: I’m confused. Am I being
pranked? ‘Cause I don’t do jokes. PARAGUS: This is no joke! This… is my revenge! GOHAN: But why? PARAGUS: Because that bastard Vegeta left us both to die. VEGETA: Sounds like me but that doesn’t sound familiar. PARAGUS: Not you, you self-absorbed blue-blooded snot! Your father… The true king. Mere days after my son was born,
they realized his immense power level: A whopping 10,000! VEGETA: Pff, yeah, well I was like,
20,000 as like a sperm, so, y’know… PARAGUS: And so… threatened by the magnificence of my progeny… …the king ordered for him to be executed. YOUNG PARAGUS: This is insane! Freeza’s got us paying rent under his boot-heel, and you’re just going to murder a
Saiyan baby with a power level of 10,000?! He’s like a trump card – if the card literally
flipped the table over, and shot the other player! He would be of great use to Vegeta! KING VEGETA: My son, the planet, or me? YOUNG PARAGUS: Yes! HUAAAAAAAAAAGH GAHBHOOHUAAHYEAB HYUNNOBHUHA [Crash] KING VEGETA: Grand Vizier Nappa! I require your treasured guidance once more. NAPPA: Stab the baby. KING VEGETA: Are… you sure? NAPPA: Look, we’ve got a meeting with Freeza in one hour, so either stab the baby, or we have to cancel your six ‘o’ clock. PARAGUS: He then saw to my son’s execution himself. With, well… less than success. BABY BROLY: Ahh! KING VEGETA: Son of an Arlian whore…! SOMEONE FETCH ME A BETTER DAGGER
KING VEGETA: Oh, good, now it’s crying. To hell with this! [Splat] KING VEGETA: Just dump him in a hole with his father. PARAGUS: Luckily, the king was as half-assed at
murdering us as he was at raising you, Vegeta. And with Broly’s magnificent power,
we survived the extinction of our race. GOKU: Wait, wait, wait, wait. So does this have *anything* to do with South Galaxy? Cause that’s kinda why I’m here. PARAGUS: Actually, yes. You see, one night while I was discussing The Son of Bardock… VEGETA: The scientist? PARAGUS: The very same. …That night, I uttered a single word that triggered Broly. And he suddenly went wild! In his furious rage, he exterminated
the South Galaxy *in its entirety*. GOKU: What was the word? PARAGUS: I… Why would I–? GOKU: Was it “non-fat”? PARAGUS: No! Why would it be–? GOKU: “Diet”? PARAGUS: This is ridiculous. Stop trying to trigger my son! GOKU: Freezer with an “i”. PARAGUS: For God’s sake…! VEGETA: First of all, Paragus, your seed couldn’t
compare to my own. And he’s a filthy half-ling. TRUNKS: Love you too, Dad. VEGETA: And second, I couldn’t care *less*
about any South Galaxies, or lack thereof. So, if you’re done wasting everyone’s time… Grab your friends, Grab your friends, grab your shit, Grab your friends, grab your shit, AND GO HOME, Grab your friends, grab your shit, AND GO HOME, KAKAROT! BROLY: Unnghh! PARAGUS: Please do not say that again. KAKAROT: It was “friends”, wasn’t it?! VEGETA: I said *shut it*, Kakarot! BROLY: Agghhh! PARAGUS: Please, stop saying that name! TRUNKS: Father, just call him Goku! VEGETA: And disrespect MY heritage?! I will address him with the name
given to him by the glorious Saiyan race! KAKAROT, KAKAROT, KAKAROT– BROLY: KAKAROOOOOOOOOT!! VEGETA: See, he’s slow, and he gets it. PARAGUS: I suggest we all run. BROLY: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! (Growling) VEGETA: This power… wha… what is he?! PARAGUS: He… is the Legendary Super Saiyan. VEGETA: OH, THAT’S SO COOL! GOKU: But why is it kinda… green? PARAGUS: Because it’s LEGENDARY. VEGETA: (orgasm) BROLY: Hey, Kakarot. You said your power level was “pretty big”, right? GOKU: Uh-huh. Why? BROLY: Because MY power… …IS MAXIMUM!! GOKU: …Prove it. BROLY: HUUUAAGH! GOHAN: Why-hy?! TRUNKS: When I woke up this morning for a gay wedding, I did not expect this. VEGETA: H-how… How is he this strong? How many pushups did he do?! How many pushups did he do?!
How many situps?! How many pushups did he do?!
How many situps?!
WHAT KIND OF JUICE DID HE DRINK?! PARAGUS: This is not the result of paltry training… This… is destiny! For you see, Prince Vegeta… …you’re not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore. VEGETA: Nooooo… GOKU: Gohan! Trunks! Haaaaa! GOHAN: Hu! TRUNKS: Huuuu-ahhh! Wha- aw, dammit, my jacket! I only had the one! Augh, Mom is gonna kill me! BROLY: OUUUAAAAGHHHH! GOKU: Hurrngh! AGHA! GOHAN: Ahhhh!
TRUNKS: Ha! AUGH! GOKU: Listen, Broly… I don’t wanna tell you how to be the
the Legendary Super Saiyan, but you’re not supposed to start all-out… …you’re supposed to start small and then work up to it! BROLY: I am starting small. GOKU: Oh! Good for you! Holy crap…(!) KRILLIN: Hey Goku! I brought the Shamoshians! GOKU: Why?? SHAMO: There’s no way we’re gonna miss sadism like this! GOHAN: Dad, what is sadism? GOKU: Ask your mother. BROLY: Yeah, you know your place. Under your master’s feet! SHAMO: Oh God~, yes! BROLY: You want the ultimate punishment?! SHAMO: Mmm, yeah~! BROLY: Then I’ll just blow up your planet! SHAMO: …Guys? What’s our safeword? SHAMOSHIAN 1: Uhh, I think it was “banana”? SHAMOSHIAN 2: No, “pineapple”! SHAMOSHIAN 3: It wasn’t a fruit, it was a vegetable! SHAMOSHIAN 2: “Brussels sprouts”? CONDI: “Broccoli”! It was “broccoli”–! SHAMO: Why did we not know our own safeword…?! CONDI: It was lost to time… BROLY: Princess Truunnks~? TRUNKS: Please, no…(!) BROLY: You lied to me. TRUNKS: I did no such thing! BROLY: You dirty boy! TRUNKS: …Goku, get me off this planet right now! I’m serious! INSTANT TRANSMISSION–!! Agh!! Gaugh!! Gagh! GOKU: Okay, Gohan? I was gonna save this for Cell… …but I’m gonna need you to let go, and– GOHAN: Got it. Leaving. GOKU: Gohan? Where’d you Gohan? HUAAAAUU–! GOHAN: (It’s okay, Gohan. Just find that ship
we came here on, grab everyone else, and–) BROLY: HA-HAAGH! GOHAN: (I should apologize to Mom if I get home.) Aggh! Gaaah-ahhhhh! Aghh! GOKU: Gohan! BROLY: RAAAGH!
GOKU: Wahhhhh! (Groans in pain) BROLY: What’s wrong, Kakarot?!
Don’t you care if I kill your son?! GOKU: Ugh… I’d rather you not? We have Dragon Balls, but, that’s like a whole day. Oh! But he’s never met King Kai… Hey Gohan! You’re gonna meet King Kai! Eeeeeeeeeee–! PARAGUS: You are probably wondering where this
unfettered hatred for Kakarot stems from… VEGETA: Not… really? Hating Kakarot kinda gives me life, so– BABY GOKU: (Crying)
PARAGUS: It all began when they were but newborn babes. VEGETA: Oh, I’m being ignored.
BABY GOKU: (Crying)
PARAGUS: It all began when they were but newborn babes. BABY GOKU: (Crying)
PARAGUS: It all began when they were but newborn babes. (Crying)
Their cribs in the maternity ward were right beside each other. (Crying)
And Kakarot cried… (Crying)
…terrorizing my son! VEGETA: And… then…? PARAGUS: That’s it. VEGETA: Didn’t my father stab him? PARAGUS: Indeed. VEGETA: Then why doesn’t he hate me? PARAGUS: Oh! No, *I* hate you. Well – I hated your father, and therefore you. Broly hates Kakarot. Because he cried. A lot. For like, three hours. VEGETA: But… that’s really dumb. B-but he’s so cool! BUT THAT’S SO DUMB! BROLY: My power… My power is… …MAXIMUMER!!! GOHAN: Dad? GOKU: Yeah, son? GOHAN: Holy f**k, he’s strong. GOKU: Yeah… and to make things worse… …I think we blew your college submission. GOHAN: Man, this just isn’t my day. GOKU: Eh, don’t worry. I think it’s your movie next. BROLY: BUT NOW IS BROLY… NOW BROLY!! GOHAN: Piccolo-help! PICCOLO: Gohan! Are you okay?! Gohan! Are you okay?!
Do you need some juice?! Gohan! Are you okay?!
Do you need some juice?!
Did you get into that school you wanted? GOHAN: Doesn’t look like it. PICCOLO: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! GOHAN: How did you get here? PICCOLO: I came when I heard you call. GOHAN: …How? KRILLIN: Thanks for the ship, Piccolo! ROSHI: We’re taking this bitch to Space Vegas! OOLONG: Yeaaaaaah!
KRILLIN: Wooooooo!
ROSHI: He he he he haa! BROLY: You! Green man! You’re new. What is YOUR power level? PICCOLO: I dunno, give me a minute. BROLY: BROLY DOES NOT LIKE TO WAIT! PICCOLO: Goku, can we beat this guy? GOKU: Uh! I dunno! I’m sure I’ll pull something out my butt. BROLY: AND IT WILL BE BROLY’S FIST! TRUNKS: Probably… PICCOLO: Let’s see how you fare
when it’s four-on-one, monster! BROLY: “Monster”? Broly is not a monster. Broly is… …durh… GOHAN: A genuine demon? GOKU: A true freak? BROLY: …the Devil! VEGETA: OH MY GOD HE’S SO GOD DAMN COOL GOKU: Haaaaaa! PICCOLO: Raaaaaa!
GOKU: Haaaaaa! (Goku and Piccolo struggling to hit Broly) BROLY: Ruuaaaahhh!! GOHAN: Masenko!
TRUNKS: Masenko! PICCOLO: HUUUUUUUAAARRR! Guuakhh! GOHAN: Waghh! TRUNKS: (Groans in pain)
GOHAN: (Groans in pain) PICCOLO: WAAUUGGH! AAAAAAAHHHH–!! URRRGHH OOUHH… What… the f**k are you DOING back here?! VEGETA: I don’t know what’s going on anymore. He’s so cool but he’s SO goddamn dumb! PICCOLO: Okay, Vegeta… while you’re here having this “crisis”, we’re out there getting beaten into a bloody paste! VEGETA: But you don’t understand! The Legendary Super Saiyan is motivated by a crying infant! He is a literal giant f**king baby! PICCOLO: So, kind of what you’re being right now? VEGETA: You’re just mad you’re not
The Legendary Super Namekian. PICCOLO: Alright, bye Vegeta. VEGETA: Byeeeeeeeeee… GOKU: Hey, Broly! KAA… KAA… MEE– Ah! Oh wah! BROLY: You were SAYIN’? GOKU [muffled]: I am Saiyan! Hu hu hu–! Ah aughh…! BROLY: This all you got, Kakarot? Broly is disappointed. Kakarot killed Frieza. Kakarot’s supposed to be strongest… …but now Broly’s strongest! And now you DIE! VEGETA: Excuse you. BROLY: Excuse BROLY? VEGETA: You’ve been ignoring someone this entire time. BROLY: …Broly’s wife? TRUNKS: Well, technically, I was the one who killed Frieza. BROLY: THAT’S HOT. VEGETA: No, you mouth-breather!
You have been ignoring your king! BROLY: What is a king to a god? VEGETA: And what is a god… TO A NONBELIEVER?! HEAAAAAAAAAAA–! MMMFF–!! BROLY: Do you believe now? VEGETA [muffled]: Uh-huh. So cool… BROLY: Now, Kakarot… KAKAROT…! KAKARRROOOOOOOT!! PARAGUS: He has devolved into saying only a single word. (Time to hit the ol’ cosmic trail…) BROLY: Kakarot? PARAGUS: Oh… …hi, son. BROLY: Kakarot. PARAGUS: N-no, i-it’s your father. I was just prepping this pod for us
to leave, before the comet hits. BROLY: Kakarot…! PARAGUS: Yes, true, it’s a pod meant for one person, but… BROLY: KAKAROT! PARAGUS: Broly! Be a good boy! Show your daddy the love he has shown you…! BROLY: Hug. PARAGUS: Oh, nononononono–!
BROLY: Huuuuuuug! [Squelch] HEAAAAUNGH!! BROLY: …Kakarot. GOKU: Okay, guys… be real with me… …is this the worst, or what? PICCOLO: Frankly, at this point, I wish we could open up the
Dead Zone and bring back Garlic Jr. TRUNKS: Can’t believe I’m saying it, but…
I’ll take some more Androids, please. VEGETA: And I’d rather get kicked in
the dick, a THOUSAND more times… …than hear that idiot scream Kakarot’s name again. BROLY: KAKAROT! VEGETA: EUUHARRRGHH. GOHAN: I’d even take Turles.
And he was just an evil version of my dad. VEGETA: Wait, that guy with the tree? Is he alive? GOKU: Not anymore. Also, that Wheelo guy. He was nice… GOHAN: Oh yeah… too bad he died of brain cancer. GOKU: Cool… then I’ll cut to the chaste… Give me all of your energy. Right now. I’ll end it in one punch, man. PICCOLO: Done.
TRUNKS: Doing it.
GOHAN: Please make it end. GOKU: Now Vegeta… I know you’re probably not going to– VEGETA: F**k it, you have it, just go. GOKU: Thanks, best buddy! VEGETA: No. BROLY: HUUUAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!! HUAAARRRRGHHHHH!!! GOKU: Hey! BROLY! SAY MY NAME! BROLY: HUUNGH?!?! (Crying) GOKU: HUUUNGH! BROLY: KA… BROLY: KA…KAA… BROLY: KA…KAA…ROOOOOOOOOTTT!!!! GOKU: Victory for Gok—! Huaaaaa! [Pop] ROSHI: HOLY SHIT! SHAMO: OHH, IT’S SO TIGHT~! PICCOLO: Okay, just gonna drop this one out there, but earlier, nobody brought up Slug
and I feel that’s kind of racist. OOLONG: What are these things
and why is one GRINDING ON ME?! SHAMO: STEP ON MY GENITALS~! KING KAI: There you go, South Kai. Your galaxy has been avenged. SOUTH KAI: …But it’s still gone. KING KAI: Sorry, but ain’t no
Dragon Balls that’ll bring that back! …I think. SOUTH KAI: But what about the
Otherworld Tournament coming up? KING KAI: Well, now you have a lot more options. SOUTH KAI: That’s f**ked up, man. ♫ ♫ Broly’s legend first began in 1993 ♫ ♫ With biceps bigger than Goku’s head ♫ ♫ And a heart that longed to be free ♫ ♫ Broly, Broly, Broly ♫ ♫ Why are you so strong ♫ ♫ Your power level is twice as high ♫ ♫ As your Saiyan hair is long ♫ ♫ Broly was a motherf**ker ♫ ♫ Stronger than that robot trucker ♫ ♫ Broly’s enemies are done! ♫ Yeah! That’s it everybody! That’s Broly! WEN BROLY, BROLY DUN! DON’T EVEN— DON’T EVEN ASK ANYMORE! Y’SHOULD JUST SUBSCRIBE AND ENJOY! AND I’M OUT! [Pop] GOKU [sotto]: Alright. Let’s see if we
can just sneak into the house, and— CHI CHI: ROOM! NOW! GOHAN: Okay! GOKU: Oh, hey, Chi-Chi! Did Gohan not make it in? CHI CHI: Oh, no, he made it in! After a sizeable donation from my father! GOKU: Good! Man, I’m glad we come from money! CHI-CHI: *I* come from money, Goku! *You* come from a race of idiots! GOKU: I sure do, Chi-Chi! I sure do! ♫ “Burning Fight: A Red-Hot, Raging, Super-Fierce Fight” plays ♫ CHI-CHI: I want a divorce. GOKU: Me too, I’m starving! Hey, everyone, Lanipator here. Thanks for watching! If you’re new to the channel, and enjoy what you saw,
make sure you subscribe and stay up to date! And if you’re in the mood for some more anime violence,
why not check out Hellsing Ultimate Abridged? Also, if you’re catching this on release day, join us at
6 Central Time for a post-release stream over on Love ya, and catch you later.


  • Reply TeamFourStar February 17, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    Please support the official release! ➤

  • Reply Sketch Stevens January 20, 2020 at 1:57 pm

    They seriously skipped Broly with Blue Hair as a Super Saiyan. That was a whole fight right there

  • Reply CrimsonNinja0 January 20, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    I know they're not doing super, but find it funny that as soon as they got this one out another, better broly movie came out not long after

  • Reply Discord The Lord of Chaos January 20, 2020 at 6:31 pm

    Why i am laughing so hard at this..

  • Reply Eric Kremers January 20, 2020 at 6:55 pm

    "Do you fools have any idea whose planet this is?!"
    "… Well good. Glad we're clear on that."


  • Reply cool kage January 20, 2020 at 7:46 pm

    Does any one else think krillin singing around 1:50 should be on America's got talent? No, it's just me? Ok…

  • Reply Isra Nunez January 20, 2020 at 8:05 pm


    Broly: you were sayin?
    Goku: I am saiyan ha ha ha
    (Goku’s laugh had me dead)

  • Reply 5 Minutes January 20, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    Wait a second, so Broly's father is an entitled parent?

  • Reply Danesha Harney January 20, 2020 at 10:36 pm

    7:06–7:23 😂😂😂😂

  • Reply Zombiewithabowtie January 20, 2020 at 10:40 pm

    The only thing in the universe faster than Goku's instant transmission – Piccolo reacting to Gohan saying "Piccolo Help!"

  • Reply Danesha Harney January 20, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    Ass-assing lmao

  • Reply Danesha Harney January 20, 2020 at 10:54 pm

    Broccoli 😂😂😂

  • Reply Brett T January 20, 2020 at 11:16 pm

    The new broly movie has a better story besides the friendship end. But this version of broly is awesome

  • Reply axl channel January 21, 2020 at 12:06 am

    That sound in 23:08 😆

  • Reply Raijin Dragon January 21, 2020 at 1:51 am


  • Reply Ingenious Comedian January 21, 2020 at 2:34 am

    Me after playing against pay-to-win players in DBFZ: 19:42

  • Reply Jordan Hill January 21, 2020 at 2:43 am

    Dang krillin got some bars

  • Reply xXSigma21Xx January 21, 2020 at 4:57 am

    2:52–3:03 😱💀😂

  • Reply João Antonio January 21, 2020 at 5:00 am

    Vegeta: "You've being ignoring someone this entire time!"
    Broly: "My Wife?"
    Vegeta: "No! Your king!"
    Broly: "What is a king to a god?"
    Vegeta: "What is a god, TO A NOT BELIEVER?"

    Underated line, veeery underated

  • Reply Matthew Fabers January 21, 2020 at 5:44 am

    Trunks: I'll take some more Android's please.
    Me: I'll take some more season 2s of my favorite shows.

  • Reply ashton caron nicholas January 21, 2020 at 7:15 am

    It's so hilarious but retarded at the same time

    Vegeta: you've been ignoring me this so time

    Broly: my wife

    Trunks: I am the one who killed frieza

    Broly: that's Hot

  • Reply Medicinal Boys January 21, 2020 at 7:18 am

    24:18 I am saiyan haha

  • Reply Gerald Corvitz January 21, 2020 at 8:06 am

    Wait… since Korin is a shapeshifter… He/They could just turn into a woman… so it's really not gay?

    Congrats over-analyzing, you killed another joke.

  • Reply Jarl Rin January 21, 2020 at 8:47 am

    @26:00 I love how they all just casually remininsce over all the non-cannon guys they've fought. Especially when Gohan brings up Turles and the way Vegeta reacted.

  • Reply Alexis Miller January 21, 2020 at 9:26 am

    What is that song that plays around 17:00 in?

  • Reply Raigoth January 21, 2020 at 10:24 am

    "So I cant breathe in space apparently!"

    Well…thats one thing Naruto can do that Goku cant.

  • Reply Lala Lala January 21, 2020 at 2:19 pm

    Kakarot >:)

  • Reply Goten January 21, 2020 at 2:28 pm

    @ 19:57 I finally got “where uu go-han” 😭😂

  • Reply Joshua Abadano January 21, 2020 at 5:27 pm

    Goku: I'll pull something out of my butt.

  • Reply Franklyn Butler January 21, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    What is a god to a nonbeliever…
    Now that's god damn cool.

  • Reply DeRyan wilkes January 21, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    Gohan stop being rude goku

  • Reply Colin Dawson January 22, 2020 at 12:42 am

    23:53 Goku just let's Gohan get smoked.

  • Reply J1mB0BwE January 22, 2020 at 3:26 am


  • Reply Adam White January 22, 2020 at 2:52 pm

    Gohan? Where'd you gohan?

  • Reply Mariah O'Brien January 22, 2020 at 6:39 pm

    you’re welcome

  • Reply Ishraq Khan January 22, 2020 at 9:30 pm

    23:33 Vegeta having fanboy crisis lol

  • Reply Luis Abarca January 22, 2020 at 9:54 pm

    The Canadian English translation is cringe 🙁

  • Reply Alan Gatrell January 23, 2020 at 12:28 am

    What if this happened in Broly’s second coming
    Broly: “KAKAROT!!!!!”
    Goten: “Kaka- what?”
    Broly: punches Goten in the face
    Subtitles: “Broly decking Goten the shnoz”

    Edit: based on Kakarot saying that he’ll deck Freeza in the shnoz and Kaioken! Kaio- what?

  • Reply grayfox311 January 23, 2020 at 1:20 am


  • Reply ssg vegito January 23, 2020 at 6:01 am

    When king Kai said "that man is going to be the death of me" he technically wasn't not wrong.

  • Reply LJayy97 January 23, 2020 at 6:47 am

    LMAOO South Kai was funny asf in this 🤣🤣🤣 “WHHYYY” 🤣🤣🤣❤️

  • Reply the noblishgamer January 23, 2020 at 7:59 am


  • Reply Unknown 69 January 23, 2020 at 9:54 am

    Anyone else noticed after Cell was defeated Vegeta spent his time raising trunks and being with Bulma whereas Goku trained for 7yrs

  • Reply stackfl0w January 23, 2020 at 10:32 am

    Goku's hoarding that instant transmission and I don't like that

  • Reply Hige X Whiskers January 23, 2020 at 4:53 pm

    When broly said "you dirty boy" and trunks FACE omg I lost everything

  • Reply RainbowQueenMCGaming wolf January 24, 2020 at 12:16 am

    23:07 That one fly you and your are friend are trying swat XD

  • Reply Alphtheo R. January 24, 2020 at 12:20 am

    south Kai called him east Kai, then called him north?? is he North east kai??

  • Reply Someone January 24, 2020 at 12:57 am

    Vegeta:how many pushups did he do?
    How many sit ups did he do?
    What kind of juice did he drink?
    One punch man fans:
    Lmao is this a reference?

  • Reply Shāwn January 24, 2020 at 2:09 am

    3:07 TF IS WRONG WITH HIS FINGER ?!????!!!😂

  • Reply xXSaint-14Xx January 24, 2020 at 3:27 am

    No its Dah Di /*moaning* /"harder…" now that is what u thought it was

  • Reply Connor January 24, 2020 at 4:25 am

    Sony oh shit its Microsoft Disney ugh Ubisoft
    Ubisoft hello Ubisoft Dreamworks Grab your friends grab your shit and go home Microsoft Disney ugh Sony pls stop saying that name Dreamworks in Disrespect my company

  • Reply Connor January 24, 2020 at 4:28 am

    Dearmworks see Disney slow he gets it Sony I Suggest we all run

  • Reply Omega Trance January 24, 2020 at 5:11 am

    Paragus is a Kaewn

  • Reply Jaylen Eback January 24, 2020 at 6:42 am

    Abridged broly is the best broly.

    Change my mind ☕️

  • Reply fulcrum 29 January 24, 2020 at 12:00 pm


  • Reply Beerus Sama January 24, 2020 at 12:36 pm

    Why is nappa dressed up like Jafar lol

  • Reply An adorable Stray Cat January 24, 2020 at 5:38 pm


  • Reply son goku January 24, 2020 at 5:57 pm


  • Reply Bottle of Greed January 24, 2020 at 6:51 pm

    I like this as much as the new one.

  • Reply Abo Ali January 24, 2020 at 9:53 pm

    Boys after nnn be like: 23:10

  • Reply The Smartest Idiot January 25, 2020 at 3:17 am

    WEN BROLY 2!?

  • Reply Alffa Noomega January 25, 2020 at 5:54 am

    First 2min LMFAO squared

  • Reply Wendell X January 25, 2020 at 10:55 am

    Kakarot 🙂

  • Reply Kakarot 7692 January 25, 2020 at 2:01 pm

    Well Goku has ultra instinct

  • Reply I KNOW I AM THE BEST January 25, 2020 at 4:19 pm

    17:03 is that beerus's hakai theme

  • Reply Sgt.Krakatoa January 25, 2020 at 6:48 pm

    Is Cell stronger than Broly though?

  • Reply XxUniLizzyxX XxUniLizzyxX January 25, 2020 at 7:12 pm



  • Reply XxUniLizzyxX XxUniLizzyxX January 25, 2020 at 9:26 pm



  • Reply Justin Jenkins January 25, 2020 at 9:43 pm

    27:20 definitely used StarCraft's Protoss warp sounds lol.

  • Reply Irrelevant DumbHead January 25, 2020 at 11:13 pm

    Paragus: Mere days after my son was born, they realized his immense power level
    A whopping 10,000

    Vegeta: yeah, well I was like 20,000 as like a sperm, so yeah

    Me: Vegeta Saiyan Saga 18,000

  • Reply Axel Blaze January 26, 2020 at 2:35 pm

    I know they made it into a joke
    But no one can deny the moment
    "What is a god to a non believer" was kind a badass 🔥🔥

  • Reply Michael Mann January 26, 2020 at 8:25 pm

    That song is king!!!

  • Reply Michael Mann January 26, 2020 at 8:25 pm

    You guys need to make your own cartoon

  • Reply Bujumbura January 26, 2020 at 9:21 pm

    Man this movie is really stupid…
    Great dub tho, obviously

  • Reply Franka Stubes January 26, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    Oh no

  • Reply Franka Stubes January 26, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    I want is like fuck you later

  • Reply Franka Stubes January 26, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    Why can’t you tell me what’s the toilet when you go to bed done it like a secret that

  • Reply Chayse Petitt January 26, 2020 at 11:38 pm

    Broly: what is a king to a god
    Vegeta: what is a god… TO A NONBELIEVER
    Me: what the hell is a nonbeliever to a believer

  • Reply Blair Buskirk January 27, 2020 at 6:29 am

    Can't help but notice in the captions that Vegeta is referred to as Vegeta II but in the Super Broly film his father was King Vegeta The Third so canonically speaking he should be Vegeta IV

  • Reply Royal Creepa January 27, 2020 at 7:20 am

    TFS, PLEASE, I don't even care if u do the series itself, just PLEASE do Dragon Ball Super: Broly Abridged

  • Reply Kacie K January 27, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    Are you guys going to do any more dbz movies

  • Reply ROEY PERVO January 27, 2020 at 8:26 pm

    chichi mother is jewish
    what makes her a jewish
    so gohan is jewish!

  • Reply Chris Noble January 27, 2020 at 9:01 pm

    24:03 probably

  • Reply Chronical X. January 27, 2020 at 11:51 pm

    why does he sound like that guy from pheneas and ferb

  • Reply Alex Langnes January 28, 2020 at 12:03 am

    This was 3 years ago
    holy shit

  • Reply Dragon Ball Is Cool January 28, 2020 at 12:28 am

    Lol princess trunks XD

  • Reply Zac Killen January 28, 2020 at 12:31 am

    Wait so Vegeta, Picollo, Gohan,Trunks and Krillin have no energy, and Goku is stronger than a legendary super saiyan?

  • Reply Dragon Ball Is Cool January 28, 2020 at 12:40 am

    WHAT THE… ok those things r just wierd. Also, yes.

  • Reply Dragon Ball Is Cool January 28, 2020 at 12:43 am

    Broly is just the emerald saiyan, with the ability to attract all villagers in the world, and gives 1000 emeralds upon dying XD

  • Reply Dragon Ball Is Cool January 28, 2020 at 12:46 am

    Vegeta is just full of lolz

  • Reply BobtheCommunist January 28, 2020 at 2:03 am

    "well I was like 20,000 thousand as a sperm so eh…." 😂😂😂😂

  • Reply Kaduel January 28, 2020 at 3:17 am

    No matter how many times I see this whole slapping part still get it lol

  • Reply Mr. Purple January 28, 2020 at 3:28 am

    This version is better than DBS broly

  • Reply Reality Elimz January 28, 2020 at 4:33 am

    Vegeta:You've been ignoring someone this entire time.

    Broly:Brolys wife.

    Trunks well technically I was the one who killed frieza.

    Broly:THATS HOT.

  • Reply YOSHA MAN January 28, 2020 at 6:10 am

    I think yamcha was the best man because he’s not here

  • Reply rockerchair January 28, 2020 at 8:04 am

    I love the Eddie murphy kai lol

  • Reply Kichuck Schuldiner January 28, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    “Because he cried.”
    “A lot.”
    “For like, three hours”

  • Reply FlameOfBlack January 28, 2020 at 4:13 pm


  • Reply Dillion Murphy January 28, 2020 at 4:44 pm

    Vegeta finally realized how frieza felt when he kept saying that he wasn't dealing with the average Saiyan amymore

  • Reply Ricky&Ricardo January 28, 2020 at 6:03 pm

    If they gave Vegeta and Bulma foul mouths they would be the most AWESOME couple in existence!!

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